Soulless & Feral

I am often accused of being uncommonly lucky when it comes to games of utter chance. While I do win more “stuff” than most, it isn’t because I possess some innate luckiness. The truth is more mundane… I’ve understand the principles of winning. For a mere $499.99, I’ll share…

…no, no. I’m not going to charge you for this. The best thing about offering this information is that experience tells me that 95% of you are going to be too lazy to act on it. So… here’s Chad’s OMG secret formula to winning stuff.

Ready?

Step 1: Enter some contests. Did you know that you can’t win unless you enter? I know, crazy right?! But a good number of the people that say that they “never win anything” never TRY to win anything. How the holy hell are you supposed to win if you don’t enter? Now… what you enter depends on how much time you have. I have employed two strategies for success:

Strategy A: Enter everything you’re qualified to enter. From houses and cars to catfood surprise… enter it all! The more you enter, the more chances you have to win stuff! You’re almost guaranteed to get SOMEthing out of this one.

Strategy B: Enter the stuff that interests you. This is my current strategy. I enter stuff like Vegas trips, free laptops, movie tickets… anything that I’m likely to actually use. While your overall chances of winning SOMEthing go down, your chances of winning something you want when you do win are better.

Step 2: Choose contests that aren’t instant win. The more effort a contest requires, the less competitors you have. Sure, that “win 60 kajillion dollars by entering your e-mail address” has an awesome payout, but you’re probably competing with 300 million other saps. Better to choose the “in your own words, tell us why you need this $10,000″ because people don’t like to TRY.

Similarly, choosing contests that require actual OMG mail-off forms are easier to win.

Step 3: Uncommon Sources. Look, everyone goes to About.com to enter stuff. If you want to win, find out where people aren’t going! As an example, my most OMG awesome prize ever (a home theatre system) was won off of AM talk radio.

That’s it! Now stop calling me lucky and get out there and win something.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 28th, 2009 at 9:19 am and is filed under Winnar. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.