Soulless & Feral

Want to spur participation in Freak Flag Friday and have some fun doing it? Play Freak Flag tag!

The rules of Freak Flag Tag are pretty simple.

1. You share a Freak Flag worthy secret; that is, you share something that makes you a freak and you stand proud!
2. You tag two other people to share a freak flag worthy secret.
3. If your two choice sharers are not namby pamby little bitches, they share a secret!
4. The people you tagged get to tag two other people, and the process continues!

Some stipulations:

- You cannot “tag back.” In other words, no fair tagging the person that tagged you.
- If you’re tagged, don’t take all day to share!
- When you respond, make sure to @ reply the person that tagged you!
- Be sure to add to #fff hashtag to the post!
- Be sure to link to the rules when you play! Just send them right to this post.
- If you can’t think of anything, just get naked. Twitter will love you for it.

I hate to be boring, but I am all tapped out for the moment. I mean… sure… there are some things that I could still share for Freak Flag Friday, but they are definitely not going to be documented online for the world to see. I might tell you in person if, say, you buy me some drinks * and ask nicely, but then… I may only do so if there’s an immediate benefit to me. And yeah, some of them are pretty ZOMG. Sharing isn’t the issue…. documenting it is!

But I guess…. I guess… I can share a few leftover tidbits. But you bastards need to start participating too.

(more…)

THIS POST IS NC-17! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Like that ever stops anyone.

I promised that as long as I was out of town on a Friday, I would post some pretty awesome Freak Flag Friday stuff. Now… I may have mentioned some of this in passing, but where I -have- mentioned it I will try to expand on the statement a little.

So, without further ado…

(more…)

THIS POST IS NC-17! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Sexsi Stuff (Because that’s what you all want to read)

• I mentioned that I like gothy/punk girls, but I did not mention that they also have to be smart and weird. Honestly, I like girls that are more “normal” looking; stupid supermodel bullshit is just boring. Give me a slightly dirty looking, obviously weird girl any day.

• Speaking of. Nothing is quite so unattractive as not trying. So you know. Fix your problems (or try) or STFU.

• Also, I think my wife is teh secks. Obviously. If you think so too, TELL HER. I’m not going to be jealous of that. I think it is pretty hot, honestly. Oh yeah.

• Masturbation is pretty much win. Anyone who says that they don’t do it is either a liar or an idiot. What? yeah, I said it. You all know that it is true. Or you don’t, in which case you need to learn. But even those people suspect that they’re missing out on what SHOULD be america’s favorite past time.
• Seriously? I could do that like every day and still have energy for real sex. That’s probably TMI too.

• Porn stars are boring. If I have to watch porn, I gotta say… clunky silly amateurs all the way.

• I could tell you which local sex shop has the best customer service. The one off of VB down near Lynnhaven. There you go.

• Seriously, make believe forced sex is awesome. Try it. Nothing like a playfully struggling girl using nails and… ahem. Anyway. Just don’t, like, really force someone. Then I’ll have to kill you for twisting my advice. No, seriously. I. Will. Actually. Kill. You. On purpose. Yes, that is a threat.

• The more self confidence I gain, the less hangups I have about sex.

• Often, I am pretty much in a constant state of smoldering lust. When I know I won’t be getting laid for a while, that’s like… instant smolder.

• If you mention sex in reference to me, I am SO likely to change the subject if you’re making me uncomfortable. So if you go “I bet you know how to eat a taco” and I go “anyway, did you know that Intel is coming out with a new processor” then… yeah.

• That joke about me having sex with you if you clear it with my wife? If you have the balls (or ovaries) to ask and she says yes, well, you have the best chance anyone has ever had.

• Sex toys + girls = WIN. I don’t need to be involved for it to be hot. Actually, that goes for girls and masturbation too. To reiterate: WIN.

• Girl on girl action is so incredibly win that I cannot put it into words. Just thinking about it makes me fingertips and lips tingle… which, by the way, is what happens when something strikes me as particularly OMG sexsi.

• I want to apply Vegas rules to the world. People are all trying to be polite and proper, but WHY? Cmon, seriously?!

Chad’s Mentality

• I lack self confidence. I don’t let people close very often, but I am trying to change that. I thought that all of you were bastards, at one time, but I think I might actually be fond of some of you.

• Along the same lines… I have an overly critical view of myself. Thus, I am often surprised when people actually have a favorable view of me. (cue the “awws”)

• If you say that I am attractive, I am likely to think you are joking, you want something, you are being nice, or you are insane. Seriously. Blame it on my past. Really. Even after I mostly believe you, there is doubt in the back of my head about it.

Weirdness

• I think I look pretty good in eyeliner, for a 32 year old guy.

• I joke about the eyeliner a bit, but I would totally wear it every day if I thought I could get away with it. What’s that? I’m gay? Fuck you. No guy could compare to the awesome that is women.

• I think I dress lame. I suspect I need a style makeover.

• My piercings actually mean something to me. I didn’t get them to be different, I got them because they remind me of life events. That’s why i am waiting to get a tattoo, it needs to mean something.

• I have thus far cultivated a pretty vanilla persona, but I am far from vanilla. I just play a vanilla person to the world. I know I need to change that.

• I am a relatively in shape guy with the mentality of a 255 pound loser, sometimes. Forgive if I am overly angsty, please. I still look in the mirror sometimes and surprise myself.

Socialization

• If you ask me whether you should take a chance or play it safe, 99% of the time I will suggest the chance.

• If I am your friend, something about you appeals to me. I don’t have the energy to pretend to friendship.

Skillz

• I am good at my job. I am AWESOME at it. I will not pretend otherwise to make people feel good. Stop sucking if your ego is bruised.

• When I say I will teach you all about what I do, I am not kidding. I want to pass on what I have learned. I usually only offer once though.