Soulless & Feral

This entry is going to be a little bit different.

I’ve recently been asked by more than one person whether I intend to have children. I suppose I’m reaching the age at which I am expected to have children already; most of my friends who happen to be my age already have one or two kids, so I guess it is a valid question. -Do- I intend to have children, aside from H? -Do- I feel the need to spread my DNA throughout the I’m universe to propagate my specially coded interpretation of humanity? Don’t I feel the urge to procreate?

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So.

My tentative date of departure is July 6th, so any random confessions, hatred, offers of debauchery, and face punches should be delivered before then.

I’m sure that all but the most clueless of you have figured out that I am headed to Iraq for a year, to support a client for buckets upon buckets of beautiful, beautiful cash. I’m sure that most of you have surmised that said plan is part of Plan X… but you may have the impression that the trip overseas is the sum total of Plan X. That is… not… quite… true. Plan X does begin with the trip, and the money gained is definitely a major part of the first part of the plan, but really… Plan X is simply my most epic implementation of the Fuck It Principle ever.

That’s right… it all comes back to FIP.

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I am still not going to post what Plan X is (if you know, I trust you well enough to shut the fuck up about it in public) but I am going to give you an overview of what the “Phases” of Plan X are.

Phase 0 – Dormant Stage. The plan is active but has no active leads.

Phase 1 – Plan Active. The plan is active and there are leads, but follow-ups are required.

Phase 2- Hand-Shaking Process. The plan is active, leads have responded, and details are being discussed.

Phase 3- Pre-Finalization. Details have been worked out but awaiting finalization.

Phase 4 – Finalization. The deal has been finalized and is pending initiation.

Phase 5 – The plan has been implemented.

Phase 6 – The plan is complete.

So… when I am discussing Plan X being in Phase 2, you know that I have leads and have been discussing the details of the plan with my leads.

Currently, Plan X has dropped back from Phase 1 to Phase 0, alas.

Enjoy.

If I had to choose one person, real or fictional, living or dead, that I had to model my life’s philosophy on, I would choose The Doctor, as interpreted in the more modern (2005-2009) Doctor Who episodes. It isn’t that I am a fanboy (though I am,) it is simply this: The Doctor embodies almost everything I want to be, at my core. he is brave, heroic, good, and selfless… and yet dark, vengeful, and unforgiving when the situation requires. He does not compromise his principles no matter what the cost. He does not back down, no matter what the odds.

He values knowledge, kindness, freedom.

He never, ever abides evil or cruelty.

He will give you a second chance, no matter how horrible you are, no matter what you’ve done. But should you refuse the second chance, he will destroy you.

That. Is the man I want to be.

Damn you people.

If you keep boosting my self confidence with what your twisted minds see as the truth, my self-esteem in certain extremely deficient areas might rise enough to actually function as an abnormal member of counter-society. I might lose the inability to talk to people for long periods of time without needing time to relax and recover. I might make eye contact more often. I may actually like… talk to people when I go out. I might let go a bit in front of people.

I still won’t sing on Rock Band though, so you can forget about that right the fuck now.

People, people. What are you THINKING?!

Translation: Thank you. I take compliments poorly and I know it. I still think you’re being nice and/or lying sometimes, but I am getting better. Also, I like (most of) you.