So, first impressions, first day? The city smelled like old garbage and the streets were dirty. The layout in the area adjacent to the Port Authority Bus Terminal was reminiscent of cities like downtown Baltimore, with shops and small businesses crammed together with little break between them. Leaving what one might term the “back streets” and entering the touristy Time Square area made the city more spacious, though the smell of garbage did remain. Speaking of Times Square… while impressive in that it was Times Square, I somehow expected it to be bigger. I suppose that television and my experiences in Las Vegas had prepared me to expect something larger than life… and it was not larger than life. It was interesting, though!

Times Square was also the site of NYC Lesson #1: Don’t eat in Times Square. We at at the Roxy Deli… $25 for a sandwich was not at all reasonable. A block back, one can get NY Style pizza for $1 a slice. Do that instead.

Once I was in the city itself, I found that I felt quite safe. I was expecting to be a bit intimidated by the experience, which never did happen. The layout of the city was also quite easy to follow. I am a fan of grid-layout cities, after all. The first day was spent mostly exploring the Museum of Modern Art (an interesting museum) and wandering around a bit. Dinner was Thai (passable, but nothing to write home about) and snack was nachos and beer at Heartland Brewery… which was well worth the money. If you like beer, do yourself a favor and stop by.

Our second day was spent touring the city on the appropriately named NY City Tours bus, downtown. We rode, listened, and learned (and checked in at many Gowalla featured sites.) We also stopped by Ground Zero, which was quite anticlimactic… do yourself a favor and skip it, unless you have a thing for construction sites or you (like me) want to bitch about how in 9 years, fuck-all has been done. We should have just rebuilt the damn towers.

Later in the day, we hit the Empire State building (awesome views, windy as hell,) grabbed some food at an awesome pub, and hit the Rockefeller Center “top of the rock” tour (in my opinion, superior to the Empire State Building views.) Hit the Rockefeller Center after dark and you should get some excellent pics of the city and the Empire State Building.

Our third day was spent touring the Museum of Natural History and Uptown,with a pretty solid NY City Tours night tour of the city. We got some excellent shots of the city at night from the ground level and hit Dallas BBQ for late night drinks and snacks. If you’re inclined to see the Museum of Natural History, I’d do so… but note that if you’ve been to DC Museum of Natural History, the museums are essentially the same. Go for the space exhibits and the planetarium and spend the rest of your time hitting exhibits that appeal to you.

I’ll detail the whole Super 8 fiasco another time.

Day four was our Statue of Liberty / Ellis Island day. I loved Ellis island, am glad I got to see the Statue of Liberty up close, and thoroughly enjoyed the day. As this was a heck of a long day, we crashed early-ish so we could get something of an early start on Saturday, which we’d left open for the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Speaking of which… the Met is huge, awesome, and so, SO not just art. I could probably spend a week of vacation just wandering through the Met… as it was, we only saw most of two sections of the entire museum.

Final impressions? I like the city, though it needs to smell better. I suggested to J that we move there at some point for a year or two, just to get the feel of how NYC runs and feels and such. The drivers are very similar to HRVA (douchetastic) but the NYers are friendly enough. The public transportation system works wonderfully (it HAS to) and for us less urban folk, Brooklyn offers just enough green to keep us sane.

I’ll be going back.

Repeat after me: UGH.

So this week, I started (and will hopefully continue) to make a half-assed effort to counteract some of that. I’m not lifting weights as I don’t really FEEL like lifting weights, but I -am- busting out an extra helping of cardio. I’m also kind of playing it informal; a structured plan would be rather pointless as I am leaving (and would thus have to retool) in a mere month.

….a mere month. Wow. In a month, I’ll be gone for the better part of a year.

On that note… just about everything that I need to do to go is done. I need some shots, I need a Visa (travel, not credit) , and I need a couple of blood work tests… but other than that, I am good to go. Now I just get to play the waiting game… I wish I had something other than NOTHING to fill the time, but freelance is hard to find and working a structured 9-5 in the interim isn’t something I care to do. I may actually seek some freelance work just to have something to do, though… I -am- getting rather bored with the whole “nothing to do” thing already.

More updates as I have them… but really, the whole process is just about complete. We’ll be entering Phase 5 (deployment) shortly.

Montage of the Mind

I’m going to finish up as many credits toward a Bachelor’s degree as I can handle. Depending on my workload, I hope to get through at least the first year. I know, I know… a full credit load is a lot to shoot for. I won’t be disappointed if I can’t get to that point, but if I -can- get to that point, well… rock on. At this point, I have no idea what I’d want to study, though. Information Technology is the obvious (and thus boring) choice and Business Administration is general purpose and generally not interesting. I’d love to do something medical, but access to medical courses in Iraq may be somewhat limited. Failing all else, I will knock out the non-specific courses and work on the actual study focus ones later.

What? Yes, I said medical. I’m a “Player Character.” I could always use some basic medical skills. My adventuring party would approve.;-)

I am going to knock out some IT certs. Whether or not I go back for a year, having the extra certifications is going to improve my base pay and thus, my total income. While in Iraq, every extra $1 an hour nets me around $6300 a year… so you can see why getting a few certs and a $2-$3 an hour raise stateside would be beneficial. I’m looking at finishing up MCITP and perhaps a CCNA… but getting the CCNP would be even sexier. We shall see… again, it depends on work schedule and how easy it is to take the tests overseas.

And finally, I think I’ll learn that language I’ve been meaning to learn. Spanish was the original plan, but it seems that Arabic may actually be a wiser choice, considering the environment. Indeed, learning the basics of Arabic would actually improve my future prospects of profitable adventure in the region, so I think that Spanish shall have to take a back seat to Arabic.

Montage of the Body

Okay, don’t bitch me out… but I want to hit and bypass my 165 pound goal. Currently, I am… erm…. not 165, so I’d be happy with that… but if I can do 160, I will be happier. I figure the sun plus the lack of junk food will help with that. Which leads me to…

I intend to take my physical fitness past the “fit” level and into the “kinda badass” level. Being isolated and such should make that easy… I can come back strong and as fit as I’ve ever been. I’m thinking I’ll max out my running distance at 10K trainingwise, but I’ll work on getting faster in that range. If I get bored with that? Well heck… I’ll just bump it up to 12-15K and leave it at that. I want to break the 10 pull-ups barrier, finish the 100 push-ups / 200 sit-ups goal. and lose all remnants possible of being overweight.

If available (one can hope) I want to learn at least the basics of hand-to-hand combat. This is only a hope, though… who knows what will be available?

I’ve recently been asked by more than one person whether I intend to have children. I suppose I’m reaching the age at which I am expected to have children already; most of my friends who happen to be my age already have one or two kids, so I guess it is a valid question. -Do- I intend to have children, aside from H? -Do- I feel the need to spread my DNA throughout the I’m universe to propagate my specially coded interpretation of humanity? Don’t I feel the urge to procreate?

Nope, nope and nope. Sorry folks, but this ape intends to be a one-off model. Limited edition, no future revisions. This is all you get.

Besides, I don’t need to contribute genetic code to have a child. I have H, who -is- my kid and who… quite honestly… is an awesome, impossible act to follow. I can’t see it getting any better with subsequent children, so there is absolutely no need to try. My genetics may not spread throughout the universe, but the knowledge and information and all of those other things that I’ve contributed to give her the weapons necessary to conquer whatever she wants to conquer are, in my opinion, so much better than a set of twisty proteins and some leftover caveman garbage.

In other words, I’m proud of how she’s turned out, and I am happy that I had a hand in that. No need for a do-over. She is win.

…let’s talk about something completely different!

Jennie (@jennie_z on Twittah) and I have a lot of internet friends who’ve been inconsiderate enough to have the same first name. The nerve of those people! As awesome problem solvers, we’ve determined that the most correct way to refer to our same-named friends is to use an awesome “Silence in the Library” model. If you’re not familiar with “Silence in the Library” from the Doctor Who series, go smack yourself in the mouth and lament your folly. You lamer. When you’ve finished, come back and read this entry.

We name our friends thusly:

First friend we knew OR our bestest evar friend what has the first name: “Proper (Name.)” So if we know two Hanzos, the first OR the bestest friend Hanzo gets to be ‘Proper Hanzo.”

Second friend we knew OR our acquaintance what is overshadowed by the Proper one: “Other (Name.)” So the second OR the acquaintance is “Other Hanzo.”

Third through infinity: These people get a name associated with their actions, jobs, or hobbies. So we might have “Paranoid Hanzo,” “Stripper Hanzo,” and “Anime Hanzo.”

And now you know! if you want to be different, either become our bestest friend (boob pics work, hint hint) or change your name to something else! Stupid same named people!

The rules of Freak Flag Tag are pretty simple.

1. You share a Freak Flag worthy secret; that is, you share something that makes you a freak and you stand proud!
2. You tag two other people to share a freak flag worthy secret.
3. If your two choice sharers are not namby pamby little bitches, they share a secret!
4. The people you tagged get to tag two other people, and the process continues!

Some stipulations:

- You cannot “tag back.” In other words, no fair tagging the person that tagged you.
- If you’re tagged, don’t take all day to share!
- When you respond, make sure to @ reply the person that tagged you!
- Be sure to add to #fff hashtag to the post!
- Be sure to link to the rules when you play! Just send them right to this post.
- If you can’t think of anything, just get naked. Twitter will love you for it.

Okay, so here’s the way it usually works. I agree to go hang out with people and I am fine with it until the day I am supposed to go and socialize. Then I start to play with the idea of not going, complete with reasonable excuses as to why I could not make it. I start to get antsy, feel all self-defeating, wonder if I am actually welcome, wonder if my presence is going to be a burden. I start to suspect that the invite was more pity and courtesy than it was honest invite, and I half-convince myself that everyone would be happier if I just stayed home. I start mulling over any negative changes in body image, I concern myself about what is acceptable attire; will I show up under or overdressed? I wonder if I am going to get ditched (which has happened, so it isn’t exactly unfounded) and weigh the disappointment of staying home with the much shittier feeling of getting stood up.

Then… I go.

Wait… what?

Yeah, I go. See, I don’t like to be a flake. I know I will not flake unless I absolutely have to do so for real, honest reasons. So if I say I’ll go somewhere or do something, I’ll follow through. I can’t stand the feeling of getting stood up, so I try not to stand other people up. I guess you could say that I play my own personal honor against my social insecurity, and my honor wins the battle.

I didn’t always do that, though. There was a short… erm… 10 year period… where I just did not go out. I still didn’t flake very much, but that’s because I never promised to do anything in the first place. Honor maintained, but social insecurity totally inflated and exacerbated. It was, in retrospect, a fucking retarded thing to do to myself. I mean… past self-deception aside, I really do like being around people I dig. I might still feel weird and awkward and out of place at times (okay, often) but I have fun and damn it, I’m working on that awkward bit too. I actually speak when I go out now. I mean… dude. But even still, it requires mental gymnastics to get to the point of actually going out and having fun.

Yes, I know. I’m a freak.

Enjoy Confession Thursday.

As of now, without any experience, I am considering heading over for at least two years. With the amount of paperwork required and the money involved, it would be quite foolish to go through it all without at least considering a two year tour. On the down side, I’d be gone for a long, long time… on the bright side, I could be done working before I am 40 years old. a two year sacrifice for freedom? Yeah, I can handle that.

Right now, I am working on scoring my international driver’s license, adjusting my eating habits again to get back to a decent “pre-workout” weight (I’ve been kinda down, so I cut out some of my peripheral activities, running being one of them,) and getting all of my paperwork and stuff done on this side of the water so there is not a whole lot that need to be managed remotely. I’m still considering the canceling my phone, and I will definitely drop the insurance on my car to minimal levels while I am gone. Rental insurance is got, will is written, power of attorney needs only to be signed… am I missing anything?

Probably.

Catch me before I go… or don’t! I won’t hold it against you.

I’m not going to epic post, this Friday, because the rules* are that I need to be traveling to do that. I’ll try to share something moderately juicy, though, because I know what sells on the Internet.

A typical warning: This will contain things that may offend you. Don’t read it if you’re a little bitch what can’t take it.

(The rest of you, come on in.)

Sexsi Stuff (Because that’s what you want to read)

* People willing to show off their “assets” to someone they might actually meet have my respect. Excellent FIPlication!

* Seeing the assets of people I know is… actually… pretty hot. Well, the girls anyway.

* If someone were to masturbate to me, I would probably consider it a compliment.

* ….but I don’t necessarily need to know about it unless you’re willing to post your admission publicly.

* I’ve decided that if I am going to ask and you’re gonna deliver, I can do the same. Fair is fair in perversion and blackmail!

* I have seen more of my Twitter pals partially naked than I saw partially naked girls in High School. But then, zero is an easy number to beat.

Adventurer Stuff

* I consider my going out of the country a way to epic montage; I plan on coming back smarter, more knowledgeable, fitter, tougher, and more attractive.

* My life is, to me, a role-playing game campaign without the fast forwards. I have no intention of living a mundane life.

* I am proud every time someone is inspired to awesomeness by my batshit crazy antics.

* I still intend to save the world. Just wait and see!

* I make the rules up as I go, really. Shh.

….

….

…no, wait. I forgot. My plan is viable. My plan is WORKING. And being honest with you? It wasn’t horribly impossible. Anyone could… can… do what I am doing. No, I don’t mean going to Iraq, though that is part of my plan. I mean, anyone can break free of the mundane, and it ain’t even that hard to do. You simply have to understand that YOU WILL NEVER GET RICH / FREE / SUCCESSFUL IF YOU DO THE SAME OLD SAFE SHIT EVERYONE ELSE DOES. I’m sorry for the caps, but that shit NEEDS to be in caps. Again. YOU WILL NEVER GET RICH / FREE / SUCCESSFUL IF YOU DO THE SAME OLD SAFE SHIT EVERYONE ELSE DOES. Are you hearing me? Dropping 5% (matched by your employer) into your mutual funds isn’t going to make you rich. It might let you retire reasonable well when you’re old, but you’ll be working your ass off until then. Moving up the ladder at Mediocri-Co is not going to make you your fortune or grant you your freedom.

You. Need. To. Take. Risks.

You. Will. Have. To. Endure. Hardship.

Those risks can be physical, financial, mental, whatever. What is important… and what is going to buy you your freedom… is the fact that your average human is not going to ever, ever take those risks. It isn’t that they don’t want to be free, understand… it is that the safety net they’ve become accustomed to is too comfortable to surrender. They’ll not (for lack of a better analogy play on the trapeze of life without the net because it is SCARY.

And yeah. It is. But that’s why i call myself a Feral Human. I reject domestication. I thrive in risk and adventure.

I’m gonna be free.

I hope you’re there too. If not, though, I understand. If everyone were Feral, we’d have to take it to a whole new level.

So here’s my plan, subject to change, all rights reserved, free to use and abuse:

1. Gain a sizable base capital.
2. Grow said capital until the residual money is capable of supporting my lifestyle.
3. Attain financial and thus social freedom.
4. Continue to grow capital and help others break free.

Feel free to adapt to you own ends… and heck, if I can help you break free… let me know!